The Clog from OzHow To Get Rid of Telemarketers
November 26th 2006 00:05
“Here’s an idea: Next time a telemarketer calls you at home in the evening, say to them, “I'm really busy right now, but if you'll give me your home phone number, I'll be sure and call you back when you are relaxing after a hard day at the office."” – Unknown
Now that’s a novel idea. How annoying are telemarketers?! And the conniving little pains know exactly when to call because you’d be home and available to answer the phone – right in the middle of dinner. Or they call during the day to talk to someone who isn’t at work and so will apparently be eager to let them crap on for 20 minutes about their ‘Low low call rates’ or ‘Amazing savings on your Home Loan’. But no matter how busy or idle people are, no-one ever wants to hear from a telemarketer.
Telemarketers mustn’t have any morals. They know what time they are calling (even after adjusting for the time zones from India) so they mustn’t care. They’d never stop and think, “Hmmm… maybe we’re just irritating people by calling them while they’re trying to relax and have dinner”. Of course not!
So next time you get a call from an annoying telemarketer you may like to try some of the following responses:
• “First, you have to tell me what kind of underwear you’re wearing.”
• If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Or you can say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one seems to care these days and I have all these problems, my sciatica is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died...." When they try to get back to the sales process, just continue on with telling about your problems.
• If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. Ask, "How long can I keep it? Do I have to ever pay it back, or is it like the other money I borrowed before my bankruptcy?"
• Crying out, in well-simulated tones of pleasure and surprise, "Judy!! Is this really you? I can't believe it! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out how the hell she could know you.
• Insist that the caller is really your mate James, playing a joke. "Come on James, stop it! Seriously James, how’s your Mum?"
But maybe the best idea is just to hang up immediately after saying “Sorry, I’m not interested – bye”. Apparently this works, the telemarketers will no longer call you. If you do stay on the line, the telemarketer will win because he has kept you on the phone for longer. And we don’t want that!
But if you just want to have a bit of fun, try using one of the above lines and see what reaction you get.
What do you do when answering telemarketing calls?
Now that’s a novel idea. How annoying are telemarketers?! And the conniving little pains know exactly when to call because you’d be home and available to answer the phone – right in the middle of dinner. Or they call during the day to talk to someone who isn’t at work and so will apparently be eager to let them crap on for 20 minutes about their ‘Low low call rates’ or ‘Amazing savings on your Home Loan’. But no matter how busy or idle people are, no-one ever wants to hear from a telemarketer.
Telemarketers mustn’t have any morals. They know what time they are calling (even after adjusting for the time zones from India) so they mustn’t care. They’d never stop and think, “Hmmm… maybe we’re just irritating people by calling them while they’re trying to relax and have dinner”. Of course not!
So next time you get a call from an annoying telemarketer you may like to try some of the following responses:
• “First, you have to tell me what kind of underwear you’re wearing.”
• If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Or you can say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one seems to care these days and I have all these problems, my sciatica is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died...." When they try to get back to the sales process, just continue on with telling about your problems.
• If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. Ask, "How long can I keep it? Do I have to ever pay it back, or is it like the other money I borrowed before my bankruptcy?"
• Crying out, in well-simulated tones of pleasure and surprise, "Judy!! Is this really you? I can't believe it! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out how the hell she could know you.
• Insist that the caller is really your mate James, playing a joke. "Come on James, stop it! Seriously James, how’s your Mum?"
But maybe the best idea is just to hang up immediately after saying “Sorry, I’m not interested – bye”. Apparently this works, the telemarketers will no longer call you. If you do stay on the line, the telemarketer will win because he has kept you on the phone for longer. And we don’t want that!
But if you just want to have a bit of fun, try using one of the above lines and see what reaction you get.
What do you do when answering telemarketing calls?
| 133 |
| Vote |
subscribe to this blog
