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Famous Quotes - September 2006

Sonnet 18: Shall I Compare Thee to a Summer’s Day?

"Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And Summer's lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And oft' is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd:
But thy eternal Summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;
Nor shall Death brag thou wanderest in his shade,

When in eternal lines to time thou growest:

So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.":


This is one of Shakespeare’s beautiful sonnets (number 18 of 154). He believes that the (lady, presumably) he is speaking of is more lovely and more temperate than a summer’s day. He tells of summer’s rough winds and its short stay, the strong sun or overcast weather. Shakespeare declares that his love’s ‘eternal summer shall not fade’ because his poem makes love immortal: “So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.” Shakespeare has such lovely poetry. He manages to describe everything so beautifully..!

Did You Know?:

Homoerotic suggestions in a number of his works have led commentators to believe that Shakespeare may have been bisexual. Twenty-six of his Sonnets are love poems addressed to a married woman (the "Dark Lady"), but one hundred and twenty-six are addressed to a young man (known as the "Fair Lord").


C.S. Lewis wrote that the sonnets are "too lover-like for ordinary male friendship" and that he "found no real parallel to such language between friends in the sixteenth-century literature." But others interpret them as referring to intense friendship rather than sexual love.


hakespeare.jpg" target="_blank">Image part of the Public Domain
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Joan Rivers Bags Elizabeth Taylor...

September 28th 2006 07:41
"Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory." - Joan Rivers.

Oh come on! Elizabeth Taylor isn’t that much older than Joan Rivers herself – Taylor was born in 1932 which makes her about 74, and Joan Rivers was born in 1933, making her only one year younger! That’s the pot calling the kettle black isn’t it? Or maybe Rivers just believes that Elizabeth Taylor has genuinely more chins than the Chinese telephone directory, regardless of her age.

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Fat Bastard on The Zone Diet

September 27th 2006 00:24
Fat Bastard (of Austin Powers): "Do ya have tae call me fat? I tried going on a diet ye know. The zone, ye know 'Carbs are the enemy.' But the portions were so wee I ate the delivery man."

How funny is Mike Myers? This guy is just so talented. In the three Austin Powers movies he plays Austin Powers, Dr Evil, Fat Bastard, Johann van der Smut, (Goldmember) – and all very hilariously.

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Just a Spoonful of Sugar....?

September 26th 2006 03:40
Man [singing]: “It's 6:03 and the heirs to my dominion, are scrubbed and tubbed and adequately fed. And so I'll pat them on the head and send them off to bed. Ah, lordly is the life I lead!”

Can you guess where this movie quote is from? I’ll give you a hint: the man who is singing hires a woman to look after his children. A woman who is able to pull a lamp out of her bag... and can make cleaning fun - “In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun. You find the fun and - SNAP - the job's a game!” – That’s right, it’s Mary Poppins! One of the top 10 movies of all time (well that’s what I think).

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“I drink to make other people interesting." - George Jean Nathan.

George Jean Nathan (1882-1958) was the leading American drama critic of his time. Between 1905 and 1958 he published thirty-four books on the theatre, co-edited The Smart Set and The American Mercury with H. L. Mencken, and practiced "destructive" theatre criticism. I think we can all relate to this quote. I reckon even the most boring people can sound interesting after you have (& to a greater extent – if they have) had a few drinks.

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“I drink to make other people interesting." - George Jean Nathan.

George Jean Nathan (1882-1958) was the leading American drama critic of his time. Between 1905 and 1958 he published thirty-four books on the theatre, co-edited The Smart Set and The American Mercury with H. L. Mencken, and practiced "destructive" theatre criticism. I think we can all relate to this quote. I reckon even the most boring people can sound interesting after you have (& to a greater extent – if they have) had a few drinks.

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MATURE CONTENT
   


Aesop Fable - The Man and His Two Wives

September 20th 2006 03:15
Aesop Fable - The Man and His Two Wives

“In the old days, when men were allowed to have many wives, a middle-aged man had one wife that was old and one that was young; each loved him very much, and desired to see him like herself. Now the man's hair was turning grey, which the young wife did not like, as it made him look too old for her husband. So every night she used to comb his hair and pick out the white ones. But the elder wife saw her husband growing grey with great pleasure, for she did not like to be mistaken for his mother. So every morning she used to arrange his hair and pick out as many of the black ones as she could. The consequence was the man soon found himself entirely bald.” Moral: Yield to all and you will soon have nothing to yield.

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Emo Philips & His Funny Quotes

September 19th 2006 08:15
"Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something..." - Emo Philips.

I couldn’t help laughing out loud at this one! It’s hilarious! It’s a joke playing on the ‘Women: You can’t live with them, and you can’t live without them’ quote (which has been satirised many times before such as ‘Women: You can’t live with them, and you can’t shoot them’).

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"Man has always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much - the wheel, New York, wars and so on - while all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time.

But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man for precisely the same reason." - Douglas Noel Adams

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Nietzsche & Women's Sexual Problems...

September 15th 2006 03:18
MATURE CONTENT
   


Dogs are Excited, Cats are Manipulative...

September 14th 2006 04:08
"You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, "My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!" - Dave Barry.

Hahaha! That is definitely the case! Young dogs (especially puppies) are crazily excited 24/7. My dog is a perfect example; give him even the slightest suggestion of opening the door to go outside and he goes nuts! “Yay! You’re coming outside! What a complete delight! I absolutely love it when you come outside! What a novel idea!” And as Dave Barry says, if you actually show some attention towards a dog by looking at them and asking them questions they go so crazy!

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Funny Answering Machine Greetings

September 13th 2006 03:35
“Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.” – Answering Machine

Ah! Don’t you just love funny answering machine greetings? This one’s great! I’m just a sucker for personification though. This greeting even goes so far as to show how the fridge isn’t used to taking messages and so he requests the message-leaver to ‘speak very slowly’. This greeting also shows how the fridge isn’t quite familiar with how the whole magnetic thing works. Or, maybe that he is fascinated by it. You can just picture the fridge looking down, scanning the different magnets and uttering “and I’ll just stick your message to myself with one of these magnets”.

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Cheating and Getting Caught

September 12th 2006 05:30
“If you try and don’t succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.” – Anonymous

What great advice anonymous, (this quoter sounds like the most moral person around, don’t you think?). I don’t want to sound like an uber goody two-shoes but really, going by the above philosophy is likely to get you in trouble, or even worse – in gaol!

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Old People & the Mid-Life Crisis

September 11th 2006 01:43
“An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.” Agatha Christie

Ok I did chuckle when I read this, but only for a little bit. As if guys are interested in old partners! That’s why the whole mid-life crisis has the new, younger girlfriend component, as well as the shiny motorcycle and dyed comb-over. This quote might be a nerdy archaeologist sad laugh, but is realistically inaccurate.

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Cluttered Desk? Cluttered Mind

September 8th 2006 02:57
"If a cluttered desk signs a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?"- Albert Einstein

An empty mind? Nope that just doesn’t work. Just because a cluttered desk apparently signifies a cluttered mind I don’t think you can then make a correlation between an empty desk and an empty mind.

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Beauty Is In The Eye of The Beer Holder

September 7th 2006 07:52
"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder" - Anonymous

Well I can’t stand the taste of beer so I wouldn’t know. But regarding the consumption of alcohol in general I must agree – people do look more attractive when you’re drinking. Well maybe not more attractive, but more, how do I put this politely… shag-able.

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Bisexual Dating

September 6th 2006 04:31
MATURE CONTENT
   


Teenagers and Rebellion

September 5th 2006 05:57
"The young always have the same problem- how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another." – George Chapman

Urgh! Tell me about it! My 16 year old sister is all about defying the parents, and just for the sake of it too! Even when she knows she has to do her homework or do a household chore for her own good, she’ll deliberately defy Mum if she’s told what to do. Even if she’s just about to go and do it, as soon as someone gives her an order she’ll snap! How dare you take her away from the useless rubbish that’s on TV at 3:30pm? And all to satisfy your dominant parental power!!

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Slow People - Turtles In Peanut Butter

September 4th 2006 04:01
“You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.” – Anonymous

Now that’s slow! I know exactly what anonymous is talking about… it’s those people that walk around uni or on the street and just love to walk excruciatingly slow just because they feel like it, without considering those behind that need to get passed.
A proposed sign for populated places.
And it’s not just as easy and overtaking them, because there’s always a band of 5 walking side by side, blocking the whole path so it’s practically impossible to get passed without pushing through – very inconsiderate!

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Three Wise Men follow a... Parking Space

September 1st 2006 03:36
"Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall. We traditionally do this in my family by driving around the parking lot until we see a shopper emerge from the mall, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit as the Three Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until it led them to a parking space." - Dave Barry.

Hey look Steve, is that a parking space there?

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